exercise
year end rambling….
I’ve been pondering, yes more than usual, and I think that I am going to throw some of my thoughts out there. No order, no goal.
I’m sick and tired of the economy. And seeing as I am part of it, I’m going on strike. For the year 2017 I will only buy necessities like food and toilet paper. And of course home repairs, car repairs, and vet bills…..but you get the idea. F-them.
About social media, yeah it sucks. It time sucks and it can be a wasteful distraction from better things. I mean seriously, you’d feel one hundred times better if you took a nap rather than spend an hour on Facebook. Cutting back, but not cutting out.
And regarding Donald, I dont want to hear what he tweeted. Until a story is actually news worthy, I’m tuning the Donald out. Can I tell you something? When I hear his name my stomach literally turns. He, and the mention of him, makes me physically sick.
I will support issue that are dear to my heart. Mother Theresa once said,
“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”
I never understood it until this year. It’s that mentality that I have to carry to get through this f-up world. War and social issues are complicated and there is just way too much negativity. My body can’t take any additional turmoil. So I hope this year, to support some of the most simplest causes protecting human rights, animal rights and our environment.
You do know I am extremely liberal. And by the way, I am proud of that.
I made a list to live by, for my daily grind….it’s a bit over reaching. I can’t find it now. Shit. I forget everything. It was things to do everyday. Making life habits. Now I have to think it all up again.
- read
- give something
- do art
- play with dogs
- write something
- I cant remember… probably yoga….I’ve been meaning to take that up for years.
Anyway you get the idea. I just can’t waste another year filling my head with all the crap in the world that I can not control.
Those are my thoughts for now. Just ramblings …. I hope to be writing better stuff real soon…..Carry on and cheers!
Mexican Squirt, listen and stop
Around the corner from where I live there is this Mexican Grocery store. And right now I am enjoying a Mexican Squirt. That’s Squirt made with pure cane sugar. No high-fructose corn syrup in it and it is delicious. I enjoyed being in the market. The store clerk was friendly, ask me if it was my first time there, it wasn’t. He was super kind.
They sell all types of peppers, homemade salsa, they even prepare fresh tacos during lunch hour, and they also sell cacti. How do you even prepare cactus? I don’t know, but while I was there I felt like I was worlds away. Away from the normal unrelenting drone of this American life. Yet, I was less than one mile from my house.
The point here is – I think I am suffering from too much. Too much of everything. Seeing too much, hearing too much. Owning too much, and feeling too much. Thinking too much. Worrying too much. I am officially on overload.
I need to shut it all off. I need to shut it all down. I need to try not to notice. I need to listen.
I need to listen to that voice inside that has been screaming at me – STOP!
So today I stop. I am really going to stop tomorrow, I don’t know exactly what I will do, but it wont require me to worry, to think, or to rush here or there.
I am officially in the stop mode. I don’t care if I don’t know how to be a miracle worker right now…..I am stop mode. If I don’t learn how to meditate this week, so what?
I already feel better just saying I am in “stop mode.” Seems silly but it appears to be helping me.
I hope you can STOP also…..it’s awesome and I just started a few minutes ago. I guess it doesn’t take 40 day to stop.
Cheers!
learn from the sunflower
This beautiful sunflower shows all the hope and promise of life. I am here, I am happy, I am spectacular. Bring it on. I am ready.
What a glorious sight. Nature at its finest, from a simple little seed this masterpiece sprouted .
That was yesterday. Yesterday is gone.
Today life has already sent a blow to the sunflower. I am guessing a squirrel had a hand in this. It wasn’t anything personal, it just happened.
As time goes on, more and more will happen to this sunflower, most of which will be none of its own doing. That is just the way it goes.
So the sunflower’s couple days brought me to my message or point. Enjoy life even though it’s ever changing, even if at times it seems unfair.
How many time have you heard the phrase,” enjoy the moment” ? Sounds so cliche but it’s not. Have you managed to put this phrase to practice?
It’s not easy, but it is doable. I try everyday. Everyday every moment is a challenge, or should I say an “opportunity” to remember to live, to enjoy, to breath, to love and to be grateful and kind. You can just pick one of those thoughts and you’re well on your way.
It takes a conscientious effort and a consistent effort to live in the moment. Practice make perfect. Take right now for instance, be happy you are reading. Just enjoy the photos if nothing more. Acknowledge your moment and smile. Then repeat every moment the rest of your life.
One person I know uses the phrase “don’t time travel” meaning don’t worry, fret or ponder the future or the past, only right now truly exists….live now – find joy now, be kind now, be grateful now, choose a positive thought over a negative thought.
I may be writing this for myself as a concrete lesson I can visualize…..but it doesn’t matter.
I hope you enjoy many moments.
Cheers.
Update:
I let myself down
I have to fess up today I did something that I have tried to stop doing…..getting into conversations that make me says things just to be nice, rather then just disagreeing and standing my ground or walking away.
I would categorize this as social clutter, when you are in a social setting, and there is no easy or graceful way out. But that is twisted thinking, because there is always a way out. You (meaning me) just has to either speak up, change the subject or walk away. I felt dirty most the day because I slipped.
I mean seriously, I slipped bad…..I didn’t say much, yet I said too much of the wrong things. Good thing it was a casual conversation, and nothing will come out of it except my re-learning the lesson to be true to myself, and take every step to create the world in which I want to spend my time.
I have said the following to myself lately and I like it a lot……”My world is what I make it at every moment.” This is a challenge, but it’s empowering to tune out the social clutter. Just eliminate it from your thoughts. It doesn’t go away. No, it’s out there poisoning other minds and upsetting various people, but you do not have to give it a home in you head. Do not invite it in.
Remember you are what you think, not what you eat, that’s your body. But you, your soul, is what you think and what you believe. We have control over this…..even though it is difficult for sure, we still choose.
Feed your brain only good content…..Right now I am listening to classical music in the car, for a change. I don’t even know who’s music I am taking in but it’s very relaxing, and has emotion, and it is ever so beautiful. I imagine all the individuals who worked at learning their instruments, practiced their art for hours, years, and then came together making it possible for me to hear their work while I drive in my dog van. That is freakin’ awesome.
I feel lucky in traffic, because my car sounds wonderful like a loud sound track you might hear while at a movie. My car becomes a safe-pod protected from the bitterness and negativity that is prevalent in the air of our current society. At least that is how I interpret it. Plus I even think my dogs like it.
So there you have it, we all slip up once in awhile. Recognize and move on.
Peace, it takes practice.
Tip: Decide how you want to live and live it.
Inspiration: “ The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” ~Oprah Winfrey
One-day one-thing: Listen, decide, and filter.
I have never
It’s difficult to believe this but I have never sat in a coffee shop alone with my laptop. I have never gone to a library to read. I’ve only once gone to a sit-down restaurant by myself.
I’m no spring chicken. I have done many many other things that maybe someone else hasn’t done. But seriously the simple things are foreign to me. I never felt I had the luxury of time to do these things, or I would tell myself , “I can do that at home.” Doing simple things at home is never the same as doing them else where, and they rarely happen.
I remember on one vacation I was happy to cook everyone breakfast, no matter what time they woke up. Looking out the kitchen window there nothing but beach between me and Pacific Ocean. I determined I could cook there non-stop. At home I might say to the late risers, “I’ve been up for five hours I just had lunch.”
Here is the key, when you get home, there’s always something tugging at you. If not physically then mentally. At least in my case there is. Considering what lives at home off and on; two dogs, two cats, three children, a husband and my mother, tugging at me comes as no surprise. That’s another reason I am heading to minimalism less stuff to even consider or clutter your thoughts. You don’t have to bother yourself with items that have to be stored, or saved for another time, or cleaned and repaired. No. No Mas. The time is now.
Time to change it up a bit.
I figure I can spare one hour a day, with a minimum of travel time on either side. So lets make it two hours. Two hours instantly scares me into thinking I cant do this. But I know I can if I really want it. If I want it more than doing laundry today, or lingering on the internet, I can spare some time to hang with nature. That’s what I like to do. You might like something totally different. Maybe you won’t get to it exactly at the time you wanted, but if you want it, you can get there.
Time to let yourself know, you make the your decisions. Face it, when we make excuses many times we still don’t even do “the excuse” of why we couldn’t do what we wanted. Time sucks are everywhere. You need to identified and destroy those time-leaks.
For a while I was taking the dogs to the park , throwing down a blanket and sketching with my colors pencils and reading. With this small outing, took my hectic-life and I made it stop. I was there. Nothing else was allowed to tugged at me. It was pretty awesome.
Start simply: here’s an idea you can do at home tonight.
How about a luxury bath? Even if you don’t usually take baths, try this on for size; 2 cups of Epsom salts, 1 cup of baking soda, and 10 drops of lavender oil to bathwater as hot as you can tolerate.
I am doing this tonight. I think I will light a few candles as well. Love to hear how you like it , if you do it.
Cheers!
Tip: Start small, little changes every day is the best way to change your life, but don’t allow yourself to miss even one day no matter what.
Inspiration: “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha
One day – one thing: Take ten minutes, close your eyes and visualize your life as you want to live it.
Kill the Judge Within
How many of you out there feel like this:
You read all the cool stuff about how to be happy , centered, nurtured, live in the moment, live in love and light, eat this and that, they are super foods after all and then you feel good. Yeah, it feels pretty good reading the words and thinking about the possibilities. “Feel good” words, but when it comes to living that life I have found it’s a ongoing struggle. Sometimes I want nothing more that to eat BBQ chips and watch TV. Yeah, crappy TV.
Don’t get me wrong, if TV was better I would pick the better shows….but that’s not the point. The point is there is only so much a person can take of learning how to be “wonderful in mind, body and spirit”
I hate to admit this, but I find it difficult sometimes to read more then the headlines…..or given a top ten list and I read the only the words printed in bold. I tell myself I will read in depth later. Ha!
I understand when a person is in that world, they are excited and want to share, and thank God they do. I would never spend the amount of time takes to figure out the grams of fiber and calories in any particular green smoothie let alone a book full of these recipes. There’s only so many hours in a day.
When I get my rest and eat well, and balance my day – there’s very little that can get me down. I know when I am really it, “it” being in the moment with a clear mind and heart, everything is so dang easy.
Come to think about it, I have changed my life. I should be proud of my growth instead of measuring myself against those far more centered or advanced than myself. That’s the key. I can read what I want and what I can handle, and if I feel like I am failing because I slack off, then at least I know I only have my self to blame…..which I should never do.
Don’t talk yourself down.
I should acknowledge that I do the best I can on any given day and that to me should be perfection. I am going to try to kill my inner judge. That judge has been living inside me way too long. I think this is a good thing.
Cheers!
Tip: Be as kind to yourself, remember you are still learning.
Inspiration: “Imperfection is not our personal problem, it is a natural part of existing.” – Tara Brach
One-day one-thing: Seek out the beauty in everyday life. Make mental acknowledgements of what beauty you see.
What do we really know???
Recently, more than once, I have known things before I actually saw them in real life.
Pretty weird. But it got me to thinking, just how did that happen. Seriously who told my brain that I would find exactly what I thought I would find, before I found it. How did I know?
The more abstract thing is this was a physical item, a book. Not feeling or an event, but an actual book. Published in 2002, today I knew would be in the local Goodwill. I wasn’t planning to go to Goodwill, but I felt something say “go there.” I fought that inner voice. That is until I remembered my post from the other day saying trust your instincts.
So I blew off my trip to the office supply store as previously planned and made my way to Goodwill.
I saw a top I donated last fall, just out now because it’s a springtime top. I still didn’t like it. Why on earth did I ever buy that thing? Anyway, I looked around and practiced just being there and concentrating on all the weird stuff I was seeing. I listened to the music playing and minded my own space.
I thought that the “book” was there. Mind you this was only a fleeting thought in my head. I ignored it, didn’t even look for the book. The thought raced across my mind once again. I ignored it again. Finally I told myself to go look for the book……it wasn’t on the side where I thought it would be. That was the end of that.
I turned the corner and there was a 2002 edition of the Guinness World Record book. I could hardly believe it. It was there.
You see, when my oldest son was young I started giving him Guinness World Record books every Christmas. I was encouraging him to read. Anyway, when he was in grade school he took his brand spankin’ new 2002 Guinness World Record book to school and some kid wrecked it. Just like that.
I’d like to find a replacement for him and that’s why I have it on my mind. But who knew my mind could tell me when it would be at Goodwill.
So weird. But I am here to tell you I am open to this power if there is such a thing.
Cheers.
Tip: Try to stop thinking, sing instead. I do this in my car, it feels good.
Inspiration:”In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuli
One-day one thing: Let go of one regret forever.
Sleepless Reality
Everything seems possible when you can’t sleep, except of course sleeping.
No one bothers you but yourself on sleepless nights. But the worse part for me is knowing how awful I will feel the next day.
Well, today is the next day, I have a mild headache and have a list of “must do’ errands. Winter arrived during the night and there’s a few inches of snow covering everything, and I am sure it’s in the teens with the wind chill.
What did I learn last night?
Drinking coffee after not drinking coffee for a week – is a bad idea. Either commit to it or don’t, because it really does effect your body. I have had three sips today, and I think that’s going to be all for me, okay one more sip, but that’s it. Maybe the caffeine is stronger when I use my french press? Or maybe it was the Jamaican coffee, or maybe it’s because I recently switch to a 66% raw diet? But that’s it for me, no more coffee. That last sip was extremely unsatisfying.
I found out my best friend when I cant sleep is my iPhone. I didn’t have to get out of bed, and it took minimal effort to read, browse news, tumblr and comment on blogs. Connect then disconnect with people who were awake, where ever. Then I would attempt to sleep again.
Tossing and turning is the worst. I convinced myself that laying perfectly still would be the closest thing I could do to sleep. I did that exercise more than once.
I figured out that that guy that was on “Shark Tank” episode last night probably didn’t sleep for months after losing 200K in less than 2 minutes. Offer to hand me a check for 600K for my company free and clear, I say, ” Hell yes and thank you!” in a New York minute.
During my sleepless night, I decided I didn’t feel right about putting in an offer on house #6. Needless to say, house #5 rejected our offer. The #5 house was the best one so far, in the big picture. We signed all the #6 papers yesterday, and I told my Husband this morning it was a no-go. He said, ” No problem, we’ll trust your instinct, there will be more houses.” Was it instinct or exhaustion? No one knows.
Which brings me to this conclusion: no one knows anything. We only think we know. We act like we know. We speak like we know and we listen to others like they may know.
We don’t, they don’t, but we all try to varying degrees to “know.” Give “not-knowing” a try today. It’s kind of fun.
Cheers!
Tip: Question yourself.
Inspiration:” We are now at a point in time when the ability to receive, utilize, store, transform and trasmit data — the lowest cognitive form — has expanded literally beyond comprehension. Understanding and wisdom are largely forgotten as we struggle under an avalanche of data and information.” – Dee Hock
One-day one-thing: Errands, as simple as that.
Not everything can be fixed
Realizing this is difficult. I would say, I must have thought I was super woman or something in the past because it never crossed my mind that some things are un-fixable.
At one point in my life, I was looking at that broken egg on the ground. I said, “That’s my last food, you broke my last food.”
That was so many years ago, it wasn’t my last food ever, but it was never fixed. Because food in general was replaced, the brokenness of my last egg meant very little to me. However, I never forgot the feeling of having nothing, and no way to fix it..
When you realize that somethings cant be fixed, it’s intensely realistic. But being a mother as I have for 22 plus years now, you spend you entire life fixing things and making bad things better. Then comes the day you can’t. You can’t fix it. You can’t make it better.
On that day little pieces of you die.
Un-learning or de-programing
Un-learning is a new concept to me. Because I always believed that information was power and that I should acquire as much information as possible. Mind you in this case , I am not talking about real text book learning, just learning from what I experience and what I am subjected to in my life.
I never looked at my intake as something that wasn’t good for me. I took it all in without much of any sort of filter. I think I could classify much of this particular information as pure clutter that clouds my reality. I passively accepted images and messages, comments and ideas. Just took them in as what? the truth? maybe not, but they each received space on the bookshelves in my mind.
Through my blog I seem to be learning more about the mistakes I have made instead of the my successes. This in of itself can be very over whelming. All of a sudden while putting the pieces together you may find the errors of your own ways. You think to yourself, “Wow that wasn’t very bright of me to do this or that.” It can make for a miserable realization. Looking back sucks. It sucks when you acknowledge your mistakes, because there isn’t a un-do button anywhere.
That’s why the phrase, ” If I knew then what I know now…” is so commonly uttered and grumbled.
My rapid assumptions are dangerous, and knee jerk in nature. Without even considering alternatives, in a nano second, my mind jumps to a judgement, but based on what? What was learned in grade school? maybe? learned from home? or what was learned at a first job? That’s insanity.
It is time for me undo many thought processes and beliefs that put me where I am today. I need to start growing again mentally. I want to be free of the useless bullsh*t clutter in my head. I want to live a more fluid life, in the present, without the burden old beliefs in my head stomping out new possibilities.
Stretching your mind beyond your self-imposed limitations is hard work, but I completely believe you have to get past any and all stale assumptions/beliefs that skew your reality or that are holding you back in any shape or form. Some times these thoughts/beliefs are like voices (doesn’t matter who originally said the words) they knock you down as to why you cant do this or that. It’s crazy thinking. In our own minds, you would think we could control this better. I am going to try.
Today and every day forward, this is one of my goals. I will write it at the top of my to do list. I am going to start asking myself, before I register an assumption or judge; “Do I really knows this to be true?”
Tip: Try to notice when others people make assumptions and ask yourself if you ever do the same thing?
Inspiration:” You do not define anyone with your judgment. You only define yourself as someone who needs to judge. ” – Wayne Dyer
One-day one-thing: Conscientiously choose to have an open mind all day today: repeat daily.
unpack the rat 